Mawa James John is a 33-year-old returnee, married to Jackline Ajonye James 29 years, equally a returnee. The couple has been married for 6 years with 2 children, and currently live in Wuluturu – Yei River County, South Sudan. Their marriage was on the brink of collapse when they were enrolled in the Couple Connect Pilot Training in Yei. Today, they are a happy family and decided to share their story with us.
In my culture, being a man means being the head of the family. This title comes with responsibilities but also a lot of privileges. As the head of my household, I was raised to be the sole provider and decision-maker. Everything I said or did was final. My wife wasn’t supposed to seek financial independence or earn a living; she was meant to stay home and take care of the family. This belief shaped my expectations when I got married.
To my surprise and frustration, my wife was not the obedient woman I expected. She had a mind of her own and wanted to contribute financially. She would buy things for our home without my input, prepare meals with money I hadn’t given her, and even engage in small businesses and casual labor to make her own money. This independence didn't sit well with me. I was suspicious—where did she get the money? Why was she always away from home? Was she trying to compete with me or, worse, undermine my authority?
My suspicions turned to anger. I verbally insulted her and sometimes became violent. I threw away food she prepared with her own money and restricted her movements. Our home became a battleground, and we became enemies living under the same roof.
One morning, my wife suggested we join a Couples Vocational Training with Women for Women International. Initially, I was hesitant, but she mentioned that we might receive financial support if we attended together. Reluctantly, I agreed, motivated only by the prospect of money.
As we participated in the training, something remarkable happened. We learned about teamwork, sharing responsibilities, effective communication, problem-solving, and financial management. Slowly, I began to understand and appreciate my wife’s efforts. We started talking again, discussing business, farming, and our children. I began supporting her business, and we started working together. By the end of the training, we received some capital, which we invested in her business.
Today, our lives are transformed. I can relax a little, knowing that I don’t have to shoulder every burden alone. We are a team.
Recently, I developed an illness that affects my ability to walk or stand, making it difficult for me to work. My wife has become the primary breadwinner, contributing up to 70% of our family’s income. I now support her as best I can.
I am grateful to Women for Women International for this life-changing training and for giving me another chance at love. I am also grateful to my wife for being strong and persistent. Without her, I don’t know how I would manage in my current condition.
To all women, I encourage you to support your husbands and not give up on your families. And to the men,
I hope you learn from my experience: support your wives, and if you can’t support them, at least don’t stand in their way.
