My name is Nerat Dabwol. Being forcefully married at 14, I felt my future had been decided long before I had a chance to shape it for myself. Now, at 16, I dare to take charge of my life.
Growing up was challenging for my siblings and me, especially because one of my siblings suffered from sickle cell disease and needed constant medical attention and care. My father was away in Abuja, Nigeria, trying to make ends meet, while my mother struggled to pay our fees by selling gruel – a kind of porridge. Tragically, my brother's condition deteriorated, and he passed away, prompting my father to return home. Despite all the challenges, my parents tried to get us through school and care for us.
When I was in junior secondary, John, a boy in our village, who was then a year older than me, abducted me and locked me up in his room for 24 hours. In my community this is a common practice to force child marriage. My parents saw it as a way to reduce their financial burden and just like that I was married.
When my parents left me in that house, my education, independence, and dreams all vanished and I was forced to embrace the responsibilities of marriage. I became a wife in every sense of the word: cooking, cleaning, farming, and eventually caring for a baby I hadn’t been ready for.
I miss going to school, the excitement of learning something new, and being with my friends. Whenever I look at my old schoolbooks, they remind me of my time in school and my childhood aspiration to become a naval officer.
I am eager to join Women for Women International’s program for adolescent girls. I am excited to learn about financial literacy, health and wellness, childcare, and the rights of young girls. The possibility of taking control of my life has ignited a glimmer of hope, a feeling I haven't experienced in a long time. I enjoy singing and putting on make-up. I want to learn how to apply make-up professionally so I can turn it into a source of income.
I will then use the money I earn and save to return to school. I want to complete secondary school and attend university so that I can go on to fulfill my dream of becoming a naval officer – I am confident I can do it all! I see a future in which my experiences inspire my son, Bright, to excel in life.
My journey is just starting, and I dare to take back control of my life.
